Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
