I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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