Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
