So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Randomize
