2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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