Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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