I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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