Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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