Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
