3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
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