He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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