What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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