He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
