He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
