can we get nightvision for the apartment?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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