Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
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