Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
you never un-have a 4some
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
