Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
