dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
