he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
