Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize
