You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
