Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
