i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
