Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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