Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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