Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Randomize
