ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
