I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Banned from zoo.
Again?
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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