she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
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