I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
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