But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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