I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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