He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
