Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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