the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
