So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
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