so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
