i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
