i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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