I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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