I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
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