it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
