South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
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