Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
