I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
