I need help removing her.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Still dying that you shit outside
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
