he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
