I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
