I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
We just shotgunned beers for America
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
