at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
