Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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